Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I received flowers the other day. No, not like the one pictured above. The one pictured above I bought for myself at a farmer's market a few weeks ago. The flowers I received the other day were what I call "Guilt Flowers" and are my least favorite to receive. I understand trying to say I am sorry through flowers as a gesture, but somehow the giver seems to think it is a quick fix and the receiver thinks "You slept with 20 women behind my back and you think a $40 flower arrangement will make it all better?" Yeeeeeah.
In the case of my flowers, they weren't from a boyfriend who had transgressed in some way. They were actually from a co-worker. I am sure this makes it an abnormality as far as the tradition of the guilt flowers go. I don't think co-workers usually buy each other flowers and have them delivered, but the story of why they bought me the flowers might be good for a chuckle.
I received an unsolicited instant message from the co-worker complaining about ... well, me. They ranted for a few sentences before I realized they actually thought they were talking to someone else and had sent the IM to the person that irked them instead of the person with which they wanted to vent. I asked them what they were talking about and they apologized and said they had meant to send it to another co-worker. So basically, I meant to talk about you behind your back and accidentally did it to your face. Oopsie.
Well, that was the first time. I let it slide.
Last week, you guessed it, I received another unsolicited instant message complaining about me ... again. This time, after I realized what had happened, I told them they had done it again. They immediately said they were sorry. I am sure they were. They were sorry they were stupid enough to do it again. I didn't let them have it, but I also didn't let it slide this time. I pointed out this was the second time in just a few weeks so that means a few things to me. 1) They talk about me behind my back a lot. 2) I must be doing a poor job in their opinion and am a poor teammate and would like to know how I can improve to make things better for them. I thought this was a better approach than just going off on them. Of course, they took the cowardly way out and said I was perfect and they were sorry.
My question here is how would you have handled it? Also, how do you look at the pretty flowers without seeing 'GUILT' written all over them? :-)