Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Guilt Flowers

I received flowers the other day. No, not like the one pictured above. The one pictured above I bought for myself at a farmer's market a few weeks ago. The flowers I received the other day were what I call "Guilt Flowers" and are my least favorite to receive. I understand trying to say I am sorry through flowers as a gesture, but somehow the giver seems to think it is a quick fix and the receiver thinks "You slept with 20 women behind my back and you think a $40 flower arrangement will make it all better?" Yeeeeeah.

In the case of my flowers, they weren't from a boyfriend who had transgressed in some way. They were actually from a co-worker. I am sure this makes it an abnormality as far as the tradition of the guilt flowers go. I don't think co-workers usually buy each other flowers and have them delivered, but the story of why they bought me the flowers might be good for a chuckle.

I received an unsolicited instant message from the co-worker complaining about ... well, me. They ranted for a few sentences before I realized they actually thought they were talking to someone else and had sent the IM to the person that irked them instead of the person with which they wanted to vent. I asked them what they were talking about and they apologized and said they had meant to send it to another co-worker. So basically, I meant to talk about you behind your back and accidentally did it to your face. Oopsie.

Well, that was the first time. I let it slide.

Last week, you guessed it, I received another unsolicited instant message complaining about me ... again. This time, after I realized what had happened, I told them they had done it again. They immediately said they were sorry. I am sure they were. They were sorry they were stupid enough to do it again. I didn't let them have it, but I also didn't let it slide this time. I pointed out this was the second time in just a few weeks so that means a few things to me. 1) They talk about me behind my back a lot. 2) I must be doing a poor job in their opinion and am a poor teammate and would like to know how I can improve to make things better for them. I thought this was a better approach than just going off on them. Of course, they took the cowardly way out and said I was perfect and they were sorry.

My question here is how would you have handled it? Also, how do you look at the pretty flowers without seeing 'GUILT' written all over them? :-)


Lisa said...

Answer is you can't look at the pretty flowers and *not* see GUILT all over them. I sincerely hope they mean your coworker will straighten up and stop acting like such a gossipy jerk. For your sake.

What a nincompoop anyway! IMing you twice to complain about YOU! You handled it more calmly than I probably would have. I'd be all upset and fretful about the whole situation. Blah.

One time a coworker IMed me and said "I don't think Lisa likes me." Well dur, if you're going to mistakenly send the msg to LISA then you may have some inkling why she might not like you! LOL. I never responded to the msg, figured she would figure it out eventually. I don't think she did.

Happy hump day April.

Jennythenipper said...

OK, WTF? Seriously I'd be up on a belltower with a gun if my co-workers did something like that to me. You were way too nice to this person. Guilt flowers wouldn't cut it.

You don't perhaps work with a person named Michael Scott do you?

AbbyNormal said...

Lisa - I am glad this sort of thing has happened to someone other than myself. What an idiot not to realize it and say something to you. hahaha.

Jenny - hahahaha. Michael Scott. No, but if I did and he were my boss, I would be pretty rich. That is what I always wonder when I see "The Office" - why aren't they suing the company for all it's worth?

Diane said...

Funny stuff. What a class 'A' idiot. If this person is so willing to spend the time, money and effort to say sorry, maybe you should milk it some more. Indicate how hurt you still are... Maybe you'll get a diamond out of it. ;)

I'm not sure what I would have done in your situation... But knowing my temper, it wouldn't have been nearly as nice. :)

kda0121 said...

abby, I think you handled things just fine. Sometimes, making them feel like an a**hole for what they did is just as satisfying as punching them in the nose. Clark Gable would've punched them in the nose, but those were movies.